Automatic Heart

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UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKITYFUCKING FUCK.



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/frustry

Dare I ask why the fucks?

Sudden surge of extreme frustration brought on by a bad memory I just had to remember at a bad time, and the realization that I have to do an impromptu speech on Wednesday. And I am TERRIFIED of public speaking.

Shit, the fucks are justified

Indeedy. And the prof is scary strict too :<

THANK LORD HEE AND JUMBIE, I MADE IT THROUGH IMPROMPTU WITH NO BAD REMARKS! Actually, the prof didnt give me my feedback yet...

Anyway, if you would like to pretend to care what happened in class, I shall tell you.
For the impromptu speech, we're supposed to pick a topic at random out of a fish bowl, but the prof wasnt able to make the topics yet so she said to pick an item in your bag and talk about it. I chose my drummsticks. Which I carry around in my bag. Yes.
After much freaking out, I was the second in the class to be called to speak since it was by alphabetical order and my surname is Alcasid.
Oh btw, the prof said to avoid bridges as much as possible. Bridges would be the 'uh, um, er, like, kasi, ano, at ano,' etc stammerings in both English and Tagalog. Minus one point for every bridge, and minus two points for every Tagalog word. Apparently I bullshitted a 2 minute long speech together about why in the world are there a pair of drummsticks in my bag, and at least the prof didnt say it was bad. I still dont know my score though.

And my next class of this will be next monday, when the impromptu speech part two will happen...because apparently we still need to bullshit a speech together about a random topic. I'll freak out again soon.

And then it started raining so hard I could barely get a jeep to go home! And when I did, it took an hour! *siiigh*

Well glad you did well with your speech, shame about the rain though

AND THEN AND THEN I TOTALLY HAD THIS FREAKY NIGHTMARE AND BECAUSE OF IT I WOKE UP EARLY. Imma stress this a bit clearer, I woke up EARLY. I usually sleep like a rock until noon or when my mom yells at me to get up.

Anyway.

So I was dreaming that I was in my room, chatting to some friends online and doing some school stuff when I decide to take a shower. I went down the hall and opened the bathroom door and Kitsune was standing there holding a pair of the biggest needles I've ever seen, saying "I wonder how you look in a corset." and smiling like a happy child. I knew where that dialogue came from (Curiosita's Ona-induced hallucinations) and bolted away from the bathroom screaming SCHEISSE and then suddenly I was at my school, running up the steps of Yuchengco Lobby towards the second pillar which me and my friends call The House. The usual bunch of people were there, Juchin the resident pervert, Mariel the gamer and other pervert, Richard the silent gamer, JM the class clown, Ronie the fat ass, and Sarah the only innocent one in the group. As usual, I walked up to them and said hi, but no one noticed me. I even drop kicked JM and he didnt even flinch. And then I heard someone behind me say "I hope you're not running away." I thought it was Juchin but when I looked back, Kitty had appeared and her silver mist was clouding up the lobby and I couldnt see my friends or anyone around anymore. Then it was like she had pulled me into another world made up of her mist and just that. Then the mist on the floor parted and I saw someone - several very special someones - lying dead and broken on the floor. A wave rolled up from no where and started to take them all away. I ran after their bodies, but I never seemed to make any progress, just kept running till the water disappeared. And then I ran into an old and rust covered cement wall. Chains came up to pin me to the wall and I knew exactly what this place was. It was Hee's workshop. Although there, laughing at me, was Ray instead of Hee. Kitty was behind her looking smug and eating strawberry pocky. I dont remember what she said, but epic pain followed and I woke up.

My subconscious seems to be getting back at me for being mean to my characters.

OH God not you too!

first Tainted soul's characters attack her in her sleep, then yours do.


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I've done a lot of bastardy things to my chars O_o ...and you know ..everyone else's O_O

Lol Shade you are soooo screwed like all the BT chars are gonna hunt you down!

Not just bt chars I'mma get hounded by every character practiacally....



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I should make a list

When the time comes, so many will be after you o_O

...Jee guys thanks for your support >.>

Sorry Man ye be doomed

(ﾉಠ益ಠ)ﾉ ┻━┻
So frustry I could flip a table.

Today's most memorable conversation with D' Gaiz: "Where's your Erogenous Zone?"
Mariel was talking about a really sensitive spot on her wrist when she asked Juchin where her erogenous zone is. She answered on her waist, where the garter of underwear is. And then she asked me.
Mariel: Hey Alex, where's yours?
Me: *holds hand up to right side of neck below the ear*
Mariel: Oh, nape. Classic.
Me: Only the right side though.
Mariel: LOOOOL.

And so, where's yours?

Haven't a clue, never really explored that. O_o

It was such a random conversation, I just had to share it.

And now it's raining. It's raining so hard, I could barely see the house across the street through the rain. I have to go to school today for a 6 hour long seminar that I need to pay attention to because I have to write a reaction paper. If I can't go because of the rain then....well fuck. And I wanted to go early so I can eat Creamed Beef at the resto beside school.

I am also being haunted by a particular bad memory, and my conscience is all "yeah, well its your fault anyway."
...
Am I merely a mimic that only acts how other people expect me to act just so they'd like me? Am I just a two-faced snake that would just as soon root through your bag and steal your money as hug you when you're crying? And is it best that I dont show my "true self" because its destructive, to say the least?
[/emo]

sorry, im such a downer today.

I love the rain but I bet it gets annoying when you need to go somewhere.

*sigh* its a full moon again tonight. *melancholy*

Werewolf?

lol no.

So yesterday I went to the Cosmania Cosplay Convention at Mall of Asia with my sister. We met her friend and her brother there. They didnt have enough money for the tickets so now her brother owes me 200 pesos. They were cool, and I wanna hangout with them again sometime. Apparently, I spend without thinking when faced with my fandoms (Kpop, Tokio Hotel, Jpop, etc) and ended up spending 260 pesos on Heechul things. I wanted to buy the official concert fan, but it was too expensive. The cosplayers were creative and awesome as usual, but me and my sis couldnt stay too long as we had to be home by 6. We ended up getting home at 7:30, but we had food from McDo, so all's good. Then that night I had a nightmare but I cant remember what it was. I think it was like Final Destination though, but Im not sure. Oh and there was a (short) Pyramid Head cosplayer. I freaked.

And now I am finishing my presentation and outline for the speech I have to do in class tomorrow. Imma talk about magic. Hope I'm not gonna hyperventilate myself to death tomorrow.

Today it started raining REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD in the middle of my bio psychology class, and the wind was blowing hard enough to make the rain hit the windows on the 5th floor, where we were.

Class: *stares at the windows*
Sir Anton: Ah! It's raining at a 45 degree angle! You'll all be stuck here, hahaha!

-later-
Class: *still very distracted*
Sir Anton: Oh don't mind it. It's like a rain stick. But later it will break in here and we'll all die
Class: ahaha...ha...haa....

And then it stopped raining after five minutes. Silly, silly weather.

I DRINK C2 APPLE FLAVORED GREEN TEA LIKE BEER.

I wanna go to this Parkour/Freerunning workshop (which just happens to be in the other half of the building of the dance studio my sister wants to go to), but I need to go shopping first. For compression/sports bras...coz I'd need it...

I HAVE HAD THE URGE TO LAUGH MANIACALLY AND DO SOMETHING EVIL AND DESTRUCTIVE HALF OF THIS PAST WEEK.
AND STALKING PEOPLE! I've had the urge to stalk people...HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHA.

*has a brain acting very slowly today because he was just dozzing off a bit and needs the above post explained to him*