Random questions

Here's the thing, my friends commented the other day on how I always ask completely out of the place and random questions like: "If a snake bit you what would you do?" or "If you could save mars but end up sacrificing your life, would you?" just random things. So I figured I'd start asking random questions to you guys, starting with "Who the hell are you?"

Feel free to ask your own questions or not answer a question or whatever

Anyways who I am? (Currently writing this while drunk fyi)

I am Mel
I am a self loathing hypocrite
Which is to say I am the type of person who preaches one style of living as the right way and then not follow my own teachings at all.
I am a person who knows they can be better but only wishes they would instead of acting on the completely rational thoughts of becoming.
I love science, though don't entirely understand it
I love comics, though wonder if I love it enough to call myself a fangirl as I am constantly learning new things
I hate those that offer help without being asked as I much rather do things myself.
I consider myself a feminist but don't advertise this fact as the term has such a stigma on it I'm afraid people will translate this to 'I hate men' which is so far from the truth
I am a hopeless romantic
I believe material possessions are more important than people freely admit, they are symbolic to the level of care you feel for people. I.E a box of chocolates means you don't really know the person as much as you'd like to admit and chocolates are a safe bet.
As much as I believe I am an awesome person, I hate myself when being alone
I moved back into my parents house after my fiance and I split up in order to afford studying instead of working, I also quit my job for him and in the present that has left me with a temp job, no car and almost nothing (He either stole or broke almost all my items) and as a result at 22 I fill unfulfilled in life and no where near as grown up as I planned to be
I am Pan-sexual, which means I am attracted to all humans. I don't care what their genitals or sexual identity are I like their personality.
I was raised in a polygamist family (Something I'll give into later)
I've suffered more trauma than I share because I honestly think people will believe I lie about that the amount of trauma in order to get attention because it is nothing short of a miracle that I turned out as normal as I am
My father is an alcoholic which is why I drink so much to impress him (Yes I have cliched daddy issues)
I want a daughter named Jovi because of Bon Jovi. Fun fact my best friend is called Alika after Metalica
I've only shared the concept of BT with 2 others in my life one being my mother and the other being a close friend because I feel embarrassed by it, Role playing is the peak of nerdom here... Although in recent years I've been more comfortable with my nerdiness.
I flirt to extreme levels with others but as soon as it returns I regress to my shy, awkward 12 year old self
I am more clever than I wish to admit, I feel that sometimes my intelligence makes those around me feel bad.
My family and I don't get along as much as I wish, it is a sad fact that I could go the rest of my days without seeing them again save for my Mother.
... I know I had more planed to share but I can't think of it right now, I may edit this later when it comes back to me.

to answer your question:

i am Alex
im Filipino with very little national pride and i suck at speaking the native language
i have bad social skills
i once wanted to change my name to Katerina Mayari Cyrael
i have anger issues. and when im mad, i hurt everyone i care about just because they tried to calm me down
i like mashed potatoes
sometimes i wallow in my puddle of self-pity because of depression which i havent been taking medication for for 3 months now
i dont want people to tell me its okay and to cheer up. i want to be around people who give me a reason or are the reason i get out of the pity puddle on my own
i just really hate so many things
and then i get sad because i hate things when i know i should be doing good and spreading love and joy and stuff
but seriously fuck it all

I'm Blake Anthony Van Dongen.
I am a Canadian who loves living in his Country and is scared of the idea of leaving it, but perhaps that's more fear of the idea of leaving the familiar for the unfamiliar because I have expressed concerns about having to perhaps eventually move to a city in order to find employment.

I live in the suburbs and I find them to be positively wonderful I love living in the cozy little houses and being generally further away from the city with its risks of crime, and its pollution.

I can be very empathetic, I can easily take on the emotions of the people around me and when I feel emotions they are usually either the pitiful flame of "meh" or a mighty burning passion of Joy, Sorrow, Rage, etc. Though I unfortunately don't get stirred to that extent very often and because of that even if I am feeling negative as long as I am feeling a powerful emotion coursing through my body I can't help but enjoy it.

I'm also a very relationship oriented person I like to have strong relationships to people and often times I try to make them like a sisterly, motherly, or brotherly type figure. I suppose to fill some kind of void in my life? I guess I have a strong desire to be loved, to feel loved this probably ties in with my earlier comment about enjoying feeling strong emotions and being empathetic some sort of symbiotic relationship of wanting to feel love and then taking those feelings of love and feeling them myself causing the strong emotions to bring me joy.

That being said I can find myself quite deep in the dumps, that's not to say I have real problems but rather I am a paranoid individual who struggles with worrying about his future, being successful and living comfortably and all that, pretty light worries. Although whenever someone doesn't show up on time you are shortly in my mind in a car crash or some horrific accident that has caused your delay and I become worried. Oddly enough I haven't suffered official panic attacks until this year. Surprising I know considering what I have just said. I'm also a terrible procrastinator, I find it hard to get motivated but when I do I have the ability to create things, Ideas, plots, characters, posts about myself. This procrastination is annoying because it casues me to leave school work last minute and every day I worry about the school work instead of simply getting it out of the way and easing my stress.

Moving on to the topic of favourites, I really don't believe in favourites as most people do, for me it's a matter of what I like in a given mood or situation. For instance, I love food all kinds of food, and I have periods where I crave a particular food and that I suppose would become my favourite for a time since I cannot really think of an all time favourite I have to settle for phases of favouritism. Examples of food I like are Hamburgers, Chicken Alfredo Shrimp Linguini, Chedder Broccoli Soup, Chicken Wings, Spinach and cheese stuffed into Filo pasteries, Chocolates, cookies, Candy (I have a major sweet tooth) Fish, Shrimp, Crab, Sushi, Baked Beans, Pastrami Sandwiches, Ruben Sandwiches, Lasagna, Most Chinese foods, Ham SOup, Chickpea Soup, Clam Chowder, A good biscuit, Croissants, and ... Yesus I've gone on for a long time. Wow sorry about that. Anyway you get my point.

These phases of liking also apply to specific video games, though they typically contain themselves to Strategy and RPG games, currently I'm enjoying a campaign as the De Mario Family of Venice (I made them up) in Crusader Kings II.

To go on about myself I feel the need to be perfect for lack of a better word even know the idea of perfection I do not believe in (simply because it cannot apply universally since everyone has a different perspective) I almost a year ago promised to be a better person every day and although I am what I would consider better, Healthier, slightly harder working in school. So there is hope for me however I find that I'm not where I want to be.

I enjoy Fantasy, Sci-Fi, most fiction generally and in fact most forms of creative literature and media. I love creativity I love the idea of making creating crafting getting immersed in worlds and worlds of lore, people, creatures, etc. As a personal note I need to put time aside to read more book and put more effort into character generation as I've fallen into a slump really I again find myself not at the level I want to be.

I suppose that's good enough for now I was about to get into a rant about how I love diversity but I'm looking at this large body of words staring at me and don't want to create headaches by smashing a block of text over your noggins.

We all go a bit more deep than I expected haha

Next question!

Have you ever had a surgery and why?

OR

If you haven't had a surgery which elective surgery would you have and why?


Or you can answer both I guess?

i had minor surgery to remove a mole from my forehead :v
oh and lasik surgery for my eyes. no more glasses yay!

oh a little thing about lasik surgery. the doctor said that if there is still a difference in grade, like the laser didnt quite correct your vision enough, they'll offer to do it again. i am REALLY HAPPY that my vision went to 20/20 the first time because I AM NEVER going to have it again. the procedure is quick and effective yeah, but it involves having this round thing to squeeze your eyeball and keep it open then another thing that goes over it and cuts the cornea off into a flap. it doesnt hurt because they give anesthetics but i remember seeing the blade pass over my eye, a horrible squeezing sensation, the panicked thought im going to be blind, and then extremely fuzzy vision with the thought that HOLY HELL MY EYE'S BEEN PEELED