Today I...

...o-oooohhhhh...my bad *has bad memory*

yay okay!

Yea man even I remember this!

my brain is full of cobwebs! i forget things so easily :/

Well lets hope a couple years from now you don't forget you're invited

Now that, I'm sure I'll never forget.

Good to hear.

So tomorrow I'm 20, I guess this means I'm an adult now right? I get the feeling that with 20 I'm meant to be a better person, but then again I'm no where near where I thought I'd be at this age. I still don't know what I want to do with my life and I still don't have a job. Everyone tells me 20 is when the fun begins where you get to go to parties and be stupid, I tell them I did that at 14-19 and I'm done with it. I still enjoy parties yes but I'm just as happy staying at home watching movies on the couch. Others tell me it's when all your responsiblity hits but am I ready for that? I don't understand it either, responsiblity? You mean the ones I got thrown on me when I got kicked out? Oh yeah I'm dealing with those great. My fiance understands that I'm trying really hard to get a job, he knows that I'm not just with him for the money but still. I can't help but feel guilty when ever he buys me something nice and then runs out of money. I want a job so badly but no ones hiring me, shouldn't a 20 year old have a job? I've seen some old friends on facebook who have great jobs or are in college, some of them are already married and one or two already have a child that they love... I'm no where near as accomplished as them. Hell I still haven't gotten my licence! But then there are my other friends that are either turning 20 or already hit it and they're in the exact same spot as me some are even a little further back and they're fine with it. I wish I could be fine with it... I hate it when in the monring's Corey gets up at 5am to go to his job and theres some morning's where he really doesn't want to but I have to encourage him to go, why? I stay home all day what right do I have to say 'Go on honey, go to a job you hate at 5am while I stay home' It doesn't feel right. But yeah here I am about to turn 20 and I guess it won't be much diffrent but still I can't help but feel like theres some point I'm meant to be at and I have no idea where it is.

Okay so you guys know how on Sunday I mentioned Corey was sick?

Well he took the day off work Monday and started to feel better around 1 in the afternoon. When it came time to go to sleep at around 10 I started feeling ill but shrugged it off as nothing. Tuesday morning I went to get up with Corey and had to lie back down straight away, he put a bucket beside the bed, gave me a kiss and left for work. It was painful but not to bad, I had nauseating stomach pains, my body ached, I was running a fever and I was sweating and felt really really cold. I did not throw up like Corey, I kept it all down. The worst of it came of Wednesday night, I had discovered hot baths really help and at one point I was so dizzy I stummbled into the bathroom for my 2nd bath that day. Now I was so dizzy and delerious from the fever some of this is a blur. I laid in the hot bathtub and decided that it wasn't hot enough (Despite my red skin) So I turned the tap again and let the water flow, it was at that point I threw up. Acting quickly I jumped out of the tub but could hardly make it two steps and ended up lying on the floor, curled up in the fetal position. I told myself I need to get up, I need to turn the tap off, but it took me a minuet or two to actually get the strength to move. I crawled over to the tub and threw myself over the edge before (disgustingly) pulling the plug, washing my arm off under the tap and turning off the water. I'm not entierly sure how much time passed before I started moving again but when I eventually got up again I threw a towel around myself and struggled to get to my bedroom (which is right next to the bathroom) and that was the last thing I remember. I guess I must've passed out cause I awoke half on the bed half on the floor a few hours later. I have no idea where Corey was but I remember thinking as I squirmed onto the bed, this'd be a hell of a lot easier if he was here! Some more time passed and I needed water, I got out of bed and shuffled down the hall to the kitchen Corey walked past and said 'Hey hun' then carried on doing whatever he was doing. My mind said "Oi! Tell him to help you!" But my mouth just kinda groaned. I shuffled back to the bedroom after being unable to swallow much of the water and as I sat back down on the bed my body went "What you're going back to sleep? No I don't think so you needa pee now!" I stood up and took a couple of steps before my legs gave way. I feel over with my back hitting the door and my head hitting the wall, gotta say that hurt. As I started hoisting myself upwards Corey came in (hearing the bang of me hitting the door) and helped me up. Luckily the hit on the head seemed to give me my powers of speech once more, I told him I had just tripped in the darkness cause I didn't want him to worry to much and then he helped me to the toilet. By the time I was done he was gone again and I stumbled back to my bed, he came in later and snuggled up to me and we feel asleep. I woke up this morning feeling SO MUCH BETTER! And I'm in such a great mood cause I no longer feel sick! IT'S AWESOME!

You lead an interesting life o_o glad youre better!
also, Happy (belated) 20th Birthday, my dear XDD

I had an awesome weekend. Long story short, the result of said weekend means my hair now looks like this

A green square with text in it?

Yes it was a very difficult hairstyle to pull off XD

I guess the pic doesn't work for you Shade, here try the direct link http://images.titansgo.net/screenshots/102/084.jpg

still not working unfortunately

Sigh, okay then lets do this the difficult way...

Go to this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-DwEtvct3Y start the vid at 2:47 and that is my hair!

Pink?

Pink and the same hair cut ^-^

Hm, looks like it'd be interesting on you.

pics pls?

Well I dyed it purple on friday so there wasn't really enough time for a pic but ah well.

I've been seeing a lot of things lately that remind me of this site, going down Vincent street, seeing a full moon, find old story ideas on a cupboard when I moved it... I miss the old life I had, the person I was, the stories we'd tell, I miss you guys... I'm so different now so much has changed, everything has changed... I guess since no one comes on the site anymore no one will see this... I'm just shouting in the darkness now

You'd be surprised what comes out of the darkness if you call.

A lot has changed yeah. And we're not kids anymore. It's been a really long time since there was any activity on this site, and its been a long time since I've been able to chat with you and Blake. How are you? How's life been?

Life is okay, I still don't have a job which is depressing the hell out of me. But I am working with my old friend Tawio on Heresy again and that out which is nice.

How has your life been?

Well, it's good you have something to do in the mean time. I still don't have a job and still havent returned to school, but its alright.
I'm working on a novel starring Reivee and The Underground. I got a good feeling about it, but its still very much unfinished.

I miss chatting with you. And the RP of course, but thats something else entirely.

I do miss the Rp too but more the freedom it brought there was never any pressure to be good. If it was a shit post meh whatever and the more the story progressed the more my skill grew.

I know right? Just post whatever you felt like and let your imagination go. Fun times, yeah.
And somehow, we managed to maintain the story for such a long time.